Isn't it ironic?

I don't listen to those things that I write... and read... I just said something pretty stupid today. And to him, nevertheless. Wow! What am I really doing in my life? Pfft. I feel fat, I am fat.. I feel ugly, I feel stupid... I don't know if I really am the other two. I know I can change my lifestype and eveything and that all it takes is just mind power... but I'm irritated and being such a rebel, even to myself and yet... I don't really know why.

I think I try to be positive but it's kind of hard to really be one. Argh! But I will try.. and I will be... and maintain to be positive in life.

I miss him... missed him so much and all I could say and act was that way... wow. How happy a reunion(?) that was. Bleh! Anyways... what do I feel for him? hmmm.. I don't really know.. I want to believe him... should I? What will be our future then? It's so hard... but I miss him... and I guess I'd say... he's a great friend... and that what I feel for him now, will... well... once I've overcome myself, maybe I'd feel something more. =)

Argh! Why am I even bothering to write in this blog??? I don't want people to read... but anyways, maybe I do and that's why I think I might publish this... no, I will. And people don't have to read if they don't want to. hahaha

So there!

Some quotes

"It's easy to doubt. Believe. Believe and that will surely give encouragement to someone."

"There can be miracles and true love does exist."

These are some quotes I will force myself to keep on believing and doing. =)

I have been chatting with a close friend of mine... I'm not sure what will become of us but I think that being friends is a good thing. That and I won't think too much of the future. Also, I think another friend of mine is ignoring me... I might be wrong but well... for now, let's just say, I'm happy come what may. I will be happy come what may. =)

Friends will always stay =)

I watched a play in UST last Monday and I tell you... it's GOOD! No... not Good... GREAT! Hmm... these are the times when one wishes they could have joined the play in one way or another. hehe.

Oh yes. Two of my bestfriends came over. Here are some of our pictures. hehe

more than what is

Hmmm.... I think I kinda got myself into some sort of a small problem. hmmm... how can I escape from this? pfft.. but I guess I won't. Argh! It was all good while it lasted. Those sweet delectable pleasures... which now, of course, I'd have to refrain from. I know what's good for me. But sometimes... temptations are hard to resist. hmmmmm...... *mouth drooling*

I'm not attached or anything, but I think I got myself stuck on some kind of inclination... It's hard to resist and I don't even know if it will be good for me in the long run. Argh! I do all these for some tendency... It's really hard, really hard I tell you. *closes drooling mouth, wipes drool*

Yes, I sure hope I can keep my end of the bargain. haha There's not even a 'oui' and I'd already do as much... my fault, I brought up the topic. hahaha *knocks head with a big oversized pillow* Of course, I won't hurt myself. hehe

Bleh! But I can't blame what I caused to spark. I really should keep knocking my head with the oversized pillow. Bleh. Bleh. Bleh. *zips mouth and padlocks it* Keep close! *ties hands and itching fingers together* That'll teach you. *knocks head with a big oversized pillow til I get unconscious*

Sweets, Eat Taho

Hmm... today has been such a great day. Besides the fact that I've been talking to someone special, everything just seemed to be going right. =)

I really hope everyday's like this.

I can't ask for more. I really can't.

I'm so happy! $(o^_^o)$

P.S. Thanks for this pictures and everything mah friend and wings. =) Oh yeah. Get your own glasses! *laughs* =b

Stung by a bug

Ohhh.. I made some sort of a story or scene.. hehehe I don't know... I think I was just suddenly stung by some sort of romance bug or something. Suddenly, I wanted to write!?! Trust me, I don't usually write, except for those written requirements for school since it's all graded and all, but when I do, well... let us just say... the inspiration rarely comes. hehe

So... here goes:

"Missed me?"

He hugged her from behind as he asked this. She smiled and turned around.

"Hmm... What do you think?"

She looked into his eyes, lost in his stare. He held her gaze, bent his head, his mouth almost touching her right ear as he whispered,

"I think you do."

Her face heated up. She could feel the closeness of his lips and the warmth of his breath. Her cheeks turning a different shade of light pink to rosy red. He looked at her as if memorizing every feature of her face,

"I love it when you blush."

She just blushed! She rarely blushes.

"Umm..."

Her eyes cast downwards as she tried to speak.

"Hush..." he placed his finger on her lips, "don't say a word."

She then looked at him and was startled to see such intensity in his eyes. His eyes, unlike those expressions she'd seen from him before, was different. Everything about him was different... even the feeling with him has turned different too.

She gasped as she felt his lips on here forehead. He gave a small laugh then kissed her nose. She felt her heart skip a beat then felt it punding crazily, beating faster. He wasn't laughing now. He opened his lips, his nose touching hers,

"I missed you so much"

They both closed their eyes, breathing hard... and as both hearts start to race, his lips closed over hers.

Haha. There... my silliness enabled me to make such a scene.. hehe

draw me a rainbow

I drew this... hehe. I drew this while I was bored out of my wits in class. haha no.. actually, I wasn't exactly bored out of my wits... just wanted to multi-task. =b

Hmm.. can you all guess the two anime/ cartoon I drew? Yep. It's Detective Conan and Mickey Mouse. hehe... oh yeah. There is another cartoon I drew... it's Stitch! yay! It doesn't even look like Stitch, it looks like a gremlin. Pfftt... hahaha

Anyways... hmmm... I wanted to join our school newspaper... but I don't know... maybe next time. =)

Oh yeah. It's morning and I have classes in one and a half hour. For now, I'm just listening to my music and typing in this blog.

Hmm... I'm thinking about what to do with my life. I've evercised last night. That's a start right? Lifting those weights and doing those sit-ups and squats, who ever said they were easy. Boo! hehe. But I need to do them and miraculous as it is, I'm starting to like doing them. *gasp*

I'd like to go baring soem time, those bars where you can dance. I really like dancing actually. Oh, I also like singing as well... but I don't really know how to.

Oh no, It's seven past now. I need to take a bath.

Before I go though, I'd like to enumerate my songs. Natutuwa talaga ako dito. hehe. They all sound nice:
1. Honeymoon Day- Arrested Development
2. Average Joe- Y-Not
3. Promiscuous Girl- Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland
4. I Write Sins Not Tragedies- Panic! At The Disco
5. The Only Difference- Panic! At The Disco
6. Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes- Panic! At The Disco

Modelling

Oh yeah! I want to be a model. If it's only possible. haha. I need the body though. tsktsk. Oh well... without hard work, I won't be able to fulfill my dream. So.... Exercise!!! *talks to self: 'stop just saying it and DO it!... Alright! Alright! I am! I will!'* hehe

When I do get to model though (I hope), I wish they'd give me free clothes (those I will model) and also pay me well...

... hahaha A girl can dream anyways! =)

part of the whole

"What's in a touch? ...a kiss? ...a tear?"

Oh well, for now, I'm just going to have fun anyways. No one said anything about being serious... though secretly, I think I have been wishing for that. hahaha

Hmm... what is important for me? I've been thinking about that. Hmm.. but I don't think those two will have a say in my future. I mean... with the way things are turning... tsktsk. Unless they change, unless I change... nothing will come out of this... pasttime... Anyways, I'll have what I want... one way or another. Hmm.. first, I must know what it is though. hehe

Oh yeah, sweet words are nothing, promises are nothing. I don't like false hope but I'd like to be given hope. haha

'What is the use of this all?' I'd like to ask. But well... it's all for fun. =) Fun... I keep having unnecessary fun, when will I even learn to be more practical? hehe Yes, on the process now. Learning... Learning... I'm doing that. I'm trying. =)

I'm torn into two... almost in everything... almost in every part of my life. I like doing something yet I do another. tsktsk. hehe.

Know what I think? I think I'm just being a fool. A fool for not believing, a fool for not taking a chance, a fool for taking a chance and a fool for waiting. I don't want to be a fool anymore. I don't even know if I am actually. One thing I would like to know though... I'd like to know how to get rid of this feeling. That's all and I think I'd be happy.

"Relax" Yeah... I know... "You worry too much" Again, I know. HAHA Fine. I'll try to relax and not worry too much. I'll do my best. So... I guess...

I need to give it my all right? ... so I can get it all back. =) Like I've heard..."You give some, you get some... you give all, you'll have all." hmm.. this time, I need to be less defensive and a little more assertive. =)

The world revolves around money

Tsk Tsk. There are lots of things left to be done. Hmmm. First of all, I need to save!! waah! HAHA Alright, I shall not panic. =b But I need to deliver a letter to 3 people. 2 of whom I already have their addresses and the last one... Oh I don't know... but I want her to know that I still care and that I'm still, and forever will be, her friend. Parvah! Miss you so much, girl! =)

Oh yeah, I've sent my notebook letter to one of my bestfriends, Grace. She's my bestfriend since gradeschool. I so miss her. Hehe I haven't finished updating it though... so I can't send it back yet pfft pfft and pfft. hehe Argh. I also need money so we can go out together. For now... I only have P70.00 in my wallet. hahaha. I want to work again. I need to save money! Save, save and save.

And... oh yeah! Christmas gifts. Ohhh.. speaking of gifts... someone's birthday is coming up. tee hee hee. I've been given a suggestion on what to give hmm.. hope I can make and give it though. Waah. I also need money for that.

Pffft. What must a girl do to get some cash? yeah I know, besides work, save. hehehe I will. I will.

Miss all my friends. Ohh. I've been in contact with Abbi lately. Hehe so cool! This week can not get better than this. Well.. it can. High grades!! Bwahahaha. Thank you, thank you =) I really am so happy. =)

Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate this life more. My life more. You've all given me hope... for every tiny aspect in my life that can change the way I live... for the better.